Week 4 The Next Day - Anger

Not everyone experiences anger as part of their journey; though it is common to ask questions and challenge not only God, but own our view of the world when our loved one dies.  We ask questions like: What is going on?  Why do I have to deal with this when my best friend doesn’t have to? Why did my husband/wife have to die and THEIRS didn’t?  Why did my parent, or my child have to die and THEIRS didn’t?  Maybe we don’t directly question God for a variety of reasons, but we do question ourselves in our everyday lives. When we spend even five minutes thinking about why ME and not THEM, we come face to face with the ideas of free choice and God allowing our world and US free choice and freedom. This freedom opens the doors to our questions and doubts. Why am I all alone now and they are not? Why? I don’t understand the way the world works. Why ME at this point and not THEM?

 Maybe we have what we would call anger, or maybe we don’t. We certainly have questions and confusion. Take the next week and write down all of the questions you have surrounding your loss.  What, where, when, and why, and then maybe why again.  I ask that you try an experiment. Take these questions and put them in different buckets – those that make you angry or confused, and those that you either accept or are resigned to. Write your list and pray over those things in your grief journey that make you angry. Anything from “she still gets to have lunch with her mother”, to “they are all getting together for a family reunion and they are ALL there and I will never have that again.”

 Lean into these feelings. Feel free to share in your group or with other safe people in your life. Then make a note if you feel God is there, or how God is working through your tragedy, and through your journey.