Week 1 - Further Along the Journey

Endings...and Beginnings By Nancy Hamlin 

Senior Pastor Wayne Alguire, of Trinity Baptist Church in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada, teaches on the topic of “Endings and Beginnings.” He says, embracing the endings and beginnings of the grieving process is not only about acknowledging our loved one is gone.  It is also a process that allows us to KEEP our relationship with our loved one in our lives in new and different ways.

Alguire contends that our relationship with our loved one does not end when they die, it changes and needs to develop into something new - and we are a big part of creating the new dynamic. Finding healing and hope in our lives is about recognizing the changing nature of our relationship with our loved one, NOT severing the ties. The relationship never goes away…

“It has to end to begin.” Sia Furler, songwriter, from the song, “Numb”.

 

In order to begin the new relationship with our loved one, we need to draw a line in our history and acknowledge our loved one is physically gone forever.  This “drawing a line” activity allows us to truly declare the old relationship is over, is done, and will never be the same again.  As part of “drawing a line”, we need to recognize and acknowledge what IS gone and lost from our relationship. Physical closeness, hugs, and conversations, sound, smells, and touch are some of the things truly lost to us through death.

Our next step in creating this new relationship is recognizing and articulating the things about our loved one “we can take with us” into the new dynamic.  Photos, letters, emails, mementos, rituals, clothes, books, household belongings, recordings, music, and movies are just a few of the things that can come over the line with us and ground our new relationship. They are real, tangible, and give us a foundation on which to begin again.

Finally, we can move to a place where we become “the author of our loved one’s life” as teacher Sibyl Towner shares in her grief teaching. We share the memories, the stories, the recipes, the conversations, the wisdom, and ultimately the love of our loved with the world at large.  Our ties are not severed but changed into a new relationship of honor, love, respect, and admiration as we continue in relationship with our loved one in new and different ways while we are still here on earth.    

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Week 1 The Next Day - In the Right Place

Being in the Grief Support Workshop is a great place to grieve within a supportive community. However, you should also take time to evaluate the other “places” in your life and how they are either helping or hurting your grief journey.

Awareness of the places that are good for you is important.  You can intentionally schedule your life so there is time for such things as a walk with a friend, going to church, sitting silently in a favorite chair gazing out the window, listening to soothing music, or crying and laughing with beloved friends.  Finding your “right places” can be restorative, a comfort, and a way to hear God’s voice in your journey as well.

Spend time over the next two days writing down the “right places” in your life that allow you to be real in your grief, real in your process, and restful as you journey through the healing process. Then make a schedule for spending time in your “right places” over the next few weeks.  Psalm 62:5 “Yes, my soul, find rest in God: my hope comes from him.”

If you are viewing this through the RSS email feed, please know you can find additional information such as the Weekly Question, Bible Verse and Song Posts at our home site of www.griefslinky.blogspot.com 

Week 1 Introduction - In The Right Place

When we grapple with the intense, spiraling emotions surrounding the death of our loved one, we are left searching for answers, comfort, care and direction. Listen as three past participants share first-hand their real life stories of walking into the Grief Support community for the very first time - their hopes, fears, expectations, surprises and what helped them along the healing path.